Corny jokes for kids : Kids love to laugh, and jokes are a great tool in any parent’s arsenal, especially during stressful times. Nothing lightens the mood like the ridiculousness of a corny jokes for kids, and having a vast reservoir of corny or cheesy jokes for kids can help defuse tension during long days cooped up at home, moments of frustration with school, or conflict between siblings.
Corny Jokes For Kids
- Scene: A sports store. Customer: Do you have jogging shorts? Me: We have running shorts. How fast were you planning on going? —Stephanie Chapman corny jokes for kids
2. When my local barista handed me my change, one coin stood out. “Look at that. You rarely get one of these old wheat pennies nowadays,” I said, tapping the sheaf of-wheat design. I handed her the penny. Turning it over and over in her hand, she said, “You know, I always thought they were made of copper.” —Linda Neukrug
3. I asked a friend in Seattle what the difference was between a state like Washington and one like Florida. He shrugged. “Apples and oranges.” —John Fries
4. I called the tinnitus hotline, but it just kept ringing … —Submitted by E.M. via rd.com
5. According to a new report, adverse side effects occurred in over 3,000 women who used Botox last year—none of whom seemed surprised. —Crystal Lowery
6. A scientist who made contact with aliens said, “They’re nothing like us—all they keep saying is ‘Err. Err.’” “Why should that mean they aren’t like us?” his colleague replied. “To err is human.” —Submitted by Steve Smith
7. Two ships collided. One was carrying a load of red paint, the other a load of blue paint. All the passengers were marooned.
8. Ed: The same bike tries to run me down every day. Fred: Sounds like a vicious cycle. corny jokes for kids
9. Jenny: I can tell if someone is lying just by looking at him. Penny: Really? Jenny: Yep. I can tell if he is standing too.
10. Mike: Someone stole the wheels off of all the police cars! Spike: The cops are working on it—tirelessly.
11. The last year I entered a marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing. The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, “Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?” I replied, “You really want to know?” Then I dropped out of the race.
12. Did you hear about the young actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
13. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were dining in New York. Ginger was resplendent in a ball gown and pearls, and Fred also sported evening wear. But the meal was marred when the waiter bringing their desserts tripped and covered Fred from head to toe in treacle sponge. “I’m terribly sorry,” said the waiter. “So you should be,” replied Fred. “Thanks to you, I’ve pudding on my top hat, pudding on my white tie, pudding on my tails.”
14. A set of golf clubs walks into a bar. “What’ll you have”? “Nothing for me, I’m the driver.” corny jokes for kids
Also Read : LOL! 151 Knock Knock Jokes For Kids and Adults
15. A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He tentatively approaches the deceased’s wife and asks whether he can say a word. The widow nods. The man clears his throat and says, “Plethora.” The widow smiles appreciatively. “Thank you,” she says. “That means a lot.”
Corny Jokes For Kids And Adults
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
2. Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?
He was stuck in a vicious cycle. corny jokes for kids
3. What did one toilet say to another?
You look flushed.
4. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
He’s a little shellfish.
5. If athlete’s get athletes foot what do elves get?
6. Why are there gates surrounding cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
7. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?|
In case he got a hole in one.
8. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s fine now, she woke up. corny jokes for kids
9. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball!
10. What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer?
Keep your shirt on!
11. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
12. To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word! corny jokes for kids
13. Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
14. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
15. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
16. I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!
Corny Jokes For Friends
- If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears, my illegal logging business is a success. corny jokes for kids
2. I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition. corny jokes for kids
3. Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in sentences often goes undetected.
4. An elderly farmer had an old bull that lost its usual desire and no longer went near the cows. The farmer called the vet, who prescribed a pill to stimulate the bull’s interest. A few weeks later, the farmer ran into a friend, who asked, “How’s that bull?” “Great!” said the farmer. “The bull is back to his former frisky self.” “That’s fantastic. What miracle drug did the vet prescribe?” “I don’t know,” said the farmer. “But it tastes like licorice.”
5. Have you heard about the new pirate movie? It’s rated AARRRRGH because of all the booty!
6. I was in my patrol car by a blinking red light—the equivalent of a stop sign—when I watched an elderly man drive straight through without even slowing down. I quickly hit the siren and pulled him over. “Why did you drive through the red light?” I asked him. “I didn’t,” he said. “I saw you.” He shook his head. “I went through between the blinks.” corny jokes for kids
7. I visited the Air and Space Museum…Nothing was there.
8. When my friend’s wife was in labor, he would tell jokes to keep her mind off the pain, but this didn’t amuse her much. I guess it was the delivery.
9. You can see the strangest things if you look hard enough. The other day I saw a piece of toast in a cage at the zoo. It was bread in captivity.
10. I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn’t pay my electric bill. It was the darkest day of my life.
11. “What are these pennies doing in my soup?” the restaurant patron demanded, motioning for the waiter to come over to his table. The waiter walked over and whispered, “You said you would stop eating here if there wasn’t some change in the food.”
12. A man walked into the doctor’s office with a strawberry stuck in his ear. “Can you help me, doctor?” he pled. The doctor looked closely, and said, “I think I’ve got some cream for that.”
13. “Didn’t you use to hear music every time you put on your Western hat?” one cowboy asked another. “I sure did.” “How did you get it to stop?” “I removed the hat from my head and took out the band.”
14. I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice. corny jokes for kids
15. I went to see the Liberty Bell recently. I don’t know why everyone makes such a big deal about it. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
16. Do you think glass coffins will be a success? -Remains to be seen.
17. Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
18. A burglar stole all the lamps in my house. I know I should be more upset, but I’m absolutely delighted.
19. I gave my friend an elephant to put in his room. He said, “Thanks.” I said, “Don’t mention it.”
20. People always tell me I’m condescending. (That means talking down to people.) corny jokes for kids
Corny Jokes For Kids
- Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity?
It’s impossible to put down. corny jokes for kids
2. What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
Someday my prints will come!
3. Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?
Lack of concentration.
4. How do you catch a whole school of fish?
With bookworms. corny jokes for kids
5. What does a spy do when he gets cold?
He goes undercover.
6. What did the horse say after it tripped?
“Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
7. What do Kermit the Frog and Attila the Hun have in common?
They both have the same middle name.
8. Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide. corny jokes for kids
9. Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
He wanted to find Pluto!
10. How did the black cats end their fight?
They hissed and made up.
11. Why can’t you play hockey with pigs?
They always hog the puck.
12. What did one horse say to the other at the dance?
You mustang-o with me. corny jokes for kids
13. Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
Because they kept saying “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
14. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
15. What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
16. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
17. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie.
18. “Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?” The cashier asked.
“No, just leave it in the carton!”
19. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation. corny jokes for kids
20. It’s not appropriate to make a dad joke if you’re not a dad.
It’s a faux pa.
21. Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel!
22. If you’re American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
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